Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
