that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
