i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
