I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
