You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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