I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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