I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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