I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
