i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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