Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize