hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
