Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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