I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
