the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
