True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
