I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All the doctor said was why
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
