escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
