There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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