So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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