oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
