It's like God shit irony all over that family
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You took a bar mat shot.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
