Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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