Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
