HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Text me some of your sweat
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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