Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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