took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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