Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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