All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
