do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
