My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize