May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
