If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize