ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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