Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
