3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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