Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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