She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
3pm strippers are depressing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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