the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
