so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
