Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
