Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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