For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We have so much sex to catch up on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
