Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize