Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize