look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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