I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let's paint friendship bongs
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
