Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
