Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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