HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
