I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
