So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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