It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
