I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
