do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
