please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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