we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
