if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
