Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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