So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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