I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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