oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
