I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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