that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize