I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
