It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
